For each decision, a resignation

When I left Brazil to come to Ireland, I knew that a new world would be available to me! I would be exposed to new experiences, to new cultures, new languages and God knows that I was not prepared for that.

It’s funny that even though you are opened to changes you still don’t know what’s about to come. I thought about all the new things and experience I would learn but I never thought about the things I would have to resign. I left my parents house when I was 18 years old, so I’m very well used to being on my own and dealing with the distance between us. I never thought that this would stand in our way as my parents always made sure to teach their daughters how to be strong and independent!

I knew that now, the distance would be more than 3 thousand kilometers. It would have the whole Atlantic ocean in between us, 5 hours difference and a hell of a more expensive flight ticket to purchase. But more than missing my family, I never thought that I would miss Brazil itself! I would miss its food, its music, its culture, its weather…

I miss new years Eve in Brazil. I miss going to the beach on Saturday morning, coming back home in the evening and getting ready for a night out. I miss going to a night out and get back home only when the sun in up. I miss going to the bakery and losing myself eating all the different snacks available. I miss having friends over on Saturday afternoon for a real barbeque while we cool ourselves down by jumping in the swimming pool.

I miss having a week break from work during carnival so we could rent a house on the beach and relax. I miss having 11 official bank holidays (plus the extra days you get when the bank holiday is on a Thursday or Tuesday). I miss having a selection of tropical fruits. I miss the 5.30pm fresh and warm baguettes in the bakery. I miss looking at my bare feet.

I miss going to the stadium to watch a football match. I miss drinking a very cold beer while listening to a singer playing Popular Brazilian Music on his guitar. I miss drinking a very cold coconut water straight from the coconut. I miss eating a big yellow corn on  the cob. I miss all the freshly squeezed fruit juices available. I miss the blue sky, the birds, the sound of a mango falling off the tree.

I miss the jokes and the Brazilians’ creativity. I miss watching the soap opera at 9pm in company of my family or friends. I miss going to the beach on February 2nd to bring a flower to Yemanja. I miss a lot of little things that before were either not important or too insignificant to me. As they say, you only miss what you have once it’s gone. Without a doubt, for each choice a resignation is made… Even though I resigned all the good things I like about Brazil, I also chose to stay in Ireland because of the great things this amazing country offers me.

Ireland taught me how to love someone from the bottom of my heart, how to be humble, how to live without prejudice, how to feel safe. Ireland gave me a future, hope, love, amazing friends and so many opportunities! Ireland exposed me to its brilliant fun people, to banoffee pie, to baby guinness, to warm chocolate brownie with ice cream, to the experience of going to the park on a sunny day and just enjoy life!

Brazil is who I am and Ireland is who I became! I can’t think about leaving Ireland or moving back to Brazil, but I know that one day this decision will have to be made! So better than thinking about the good things I will have to leave behind, I better think about the good things I will get back to my life!


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